I just spent a bunch of time looking through old family photos to see if I had any good old Thanksgiving pictures. I was looking for a picture of our family sitting down for a meal, or even working in the kitchen. But back when I was growing up, pictures were not as easy to take, and my family didn't organize them well either. But I did find this one, taken in November of my first year of life (or that is the label on the picture at least), and it is a pretty nice picture of me and my three siblings. I am, of course, the baby.
I don't have a lot of fond memories of my childhood Thanksgivings, and that is somewhat unfortunate because I think they were actually mostly good. I do remember quietly hiding in the living room with my brother and father watching football on TV while my sisters worked in the kitchen with my mom. And I remember that I often set the table; getting out all the fancy holiday dishes and placing them, with fancy glasses to drink out of. I really enjoyed drinking juice out of fancy wine glasses or goblets, while the adults drank wine. I know that has led to me continuing to enjoy drinking water (and wine too) out of nice glasses today. Simple pleasures.
I also remember that we did spend a few Thanksgiving holidays visiting family in small town Illinois. It was often the only time each year that we would see my grandparents and aunt and uncles and cousins, so although they were very nice people they were almost strangers. We didn't have a big family, and I was younger than everyone else and I was shy, so unfortunately I remember feeling shy and scared a lot. I only remember a few of those trips, and my shyness made them pretty uncomfortable, even though my relatives were all really nice. I was just painfully shy, even around family.
The years that we stayed home in Minnesota, I remember tension and discomfort. But also football. Football was a safe escape for me from the tension of the unhappy people in my family. I especially remember watching the Dallas Cowboys on TV and really admiring the calm cool demeanor of their coach, Tom Landry. At least one year it was contrasted with the crazy coach for the Oakland Raiders at the time, John Madden, and that contrast in coaching styles has always fascinated me. My dad was a soccer coach; and I saw him as being a bit like an Italian version of John Madden. I became a swim coach; and I always wanted to be more like Tom Landry. Those Thanksgiving NFL games had quite an impression on me.
Other than the football games, the Thanksgiving meal was always the main event. I suppose I also watched the Thanksgiving parade on TV in the morning, but my memories are more centered around football and food. Unfortunately eating at the dinner table always had a bit more tension than I was comfortable with. I have memories of arguments, but even more of strained silence. But the single biggest traumatic memory I have is when my older sister burped at the table and was promptly slapped. I don't know how old I was at the time, but the slap was so shocking that I have never forgotten. The dinner table did not feel like a safe place to be. But I have always found solace in watching football on Thanksgiving. That is where my happier memories were.
I still love watching football on Thanksgiving, and fortunately my recent memories of the holiday are more positive. I still prefer watching TV to sitting at a dinner table, but I am more comfortable with the people around me. And I can even look back at those old memories more fondly as well. Except the slap; I will never be fond of the slap.
