Morrissey Musings

Last night I was one of *those* people.... an audience member who watched one of her favorite artists, with tears streaming down her face. Damn Morrissey!

It isn't the first time I have had tears at a concert - quite often I am moved to teary-eyes - but usually I can stop the flow down my cheeks with some deep breaths, blinking, or digging my nails into my palms. And in fact, the first few songs last night I did just that. But within moments of the start of "There is a Light That Never Goes Out", it was hopeless. Cue the puddles. :(

I am not a fan of public displays of emotion on my part. I much prefer to keep my raw feelings behind closed doors, where I can experience them in private and then write about them later. :) I will go to painful lengths to hide my ooey gooey insides. Fortunately I believe the audience last night was concentrating on the performance and not my wet cheeks (my daughter who was sitting next to me didn't even notice). Nevertheless I was frustrated with myself. I hoped that the next song would give me reprieve, but when Morrissey went right into "Every Day is Like Sunday", I cursed his insensitivity to my emotional fragility... and continued to wash my cheeks in salty streams. ~sigh~

Later I was able to pull myself together, and although my eyes still welled up at times they did not overflow anymore. Both my daughter and I had to cover our eyes during "Meat is Murder", and I also felt like I was going to throw up then since he is so kind as to show film of all kinds of nasty murdering for meat (the strobe lights were getting to me by then as well), but I managed to get through the rest of the concert without too much emotional turmoil.

Music often moves me, and I knew there was a risk in going to see Morrissey live. I have cried many times just listening to recorded versions of him over the years and his music has a great connection to my adolescent past, so I knew it would be more difficult to hold myself together. There are many concerts that I go to that I have to sort of close-off and not feel them fully because otherwise I would be a puddle of goo...but last night I just couldn't stop it, and I guess that is ok. Admittedly though, I am glad it was dark and no one I knew was around. :)