Some Thoughts on Pandemic Introversion

 

My dogs have become my spirit animals. They are both older ladies - both thirteen years old - and they enjoy staying home and snuggling into their beds or other comfy spaces. The Pandemic has been pretty great for them, and they have made the past 9 months much better for me, as well. 

I am not strictly an introvert; I usually fall right in between introversion and extroversion when I take any kind of personality test. I do like people, and I like to be around people who are comfortable for me. But I'm Highly Sensitive and I need my space as well. I don't like crowds, and I like quiet calm spaces. I am a massage therapist and I prefer to work in a space where I can keep things quiet and peaceful. 

Because I am fortunate enough to have a pretty good savings and support, I have been able to weather this Pandemic mostly at home, with my dogs and the rest of my family, and I admit it has been pretty great. I do miss working more, and sometimes my house gets a little too noisy with all the other people and their various Zoom meetings.  But my house is big enough that I can usually find a quiet space when I need to. I am extremely fortunate. 

 I recognize that this Pandemic is not comfortable for most people. I am definitely one of the lucky ones. I still hurt for all the people who are struggling more than I am. I still feel a lot of pain for all the others who are hurting so much at this time. I do not understand how other people do not feel other's pain, because it is the way I have always been; I see or hear or read about someone getting injured and I feel pain where their injury is. I always have. It helps me as a massage therapist, but it can also exhaust me if I'm not careful (but I have learned to be careful so it isn't bad). I do wish I could take everyone's pain away from people, but I also recognize that pain teaches us things as well. 

I have learned a lot during this Pandemic, but I will always still have things to learn. One of the big lessons that I am always trying to learn is how much each person wants as far as space and interaction. Including myself. 

I appreciate having the time to hide out in my house and slow down and learn new things. But I also want people to know that they can still reach out to me if they want someone to talk to (or write to, preferably). I am not giving as many massages to clients, but I still care. Physical touch is more dangerous at this time, but we can still connect emotionally. I have always appreciated massage therapy because it is safe touch, with rules and boundaries. That is very important to me. Like many people, I have some uncomfortable history with 'unsafe' touch. I have always looked for ways to connect with people without it becoming uncomfortable. 

So now I write. It suits me. It is quiet and peaceful and I can make room for it safely. I can share without forcing my thoughts on anyone who doesn't want to read them. And I can offer to listen to anyone who wants to share their own thoughts with me. 

And for anyone who reads this but doesn't want to reach out, know that I do care about you even if I don't know you. You matter. Your thoughts matter. You are important to this world. Please know that.

☮♡