Friendship Timelines

I am very fascinated by the concept of time in relationships, and how each person spends their time differently, and views the value of that time differently. I am fascinated in the amount of time that people like to spend with each other, versus how much time some of us also need to be alone. And, how much some of us can feel connected and close to someone when we are apart, versus needing to be in physical proximity to them. I am fascinated that some people cling to relationships and want them to last forever, while others welcome change and are quick to move on. I am eternally fascinated by people, and their behavior, and especially by relationships. 

I am someone who likes to keep people in my life. I like to think that we can always reconcile our differences and disagreements, and come to a place of kindness, if not friendship. I see the potential, if not "good", in everyone, and I always hope that anything less than that will be a mistake and therefore something that can be apologized for and made amends for. 

Although I *know* that not everyone else is like this, I still do not fully comprehend that not everyone is like this.  So I try to ask questions, and I try to understand human differences. No judgment, just curiosity.

Friendship is also a term that is fascinating to me. The definition of a "friend" versus an "acquaintance" has become especially wobbly since the advent and popular use of Facebook, where the term "friend" is used for any kind of social connection. Much can (and is) said about the whole "social" experiment of Facebook and other social media enterprises, and I can absolutely see all kinds of good and bad issues with it. But again, I like to focus on the more positive aspects, so I still participate, albeit inconsistently.

At various times in my life, I have identified as being "introverted" or "shy" or having "social anxiety". I am "highly sensitive" and especially uncomfortable in crowds. I do not trust large groups of people, for good reason. I can be incredibly disappointed in human behavior, and yet I also genuinely like most people when I get to know them. I am absolutely wary of group think and behavior, but believe in the best of the individual. 

So, back to the title and beginning of this essay: I believe that friendships are a type of relationship, and I believe that they all have their own timelines. For my own life, I like to keep those timelines open. I love to hear from old friends who I maybe haven't been in touch with for a few years. Even if the last interaction we had was a misunderstanding or less-than-positive, I still welcome communication. People change and hopefully grow, and I genuinely care about all living things. But I especially care about people who I have interacted with in my life, whenever that was. And honestly, double-bonus if it was a disagreement or misunderstanding and you've grown and want to explain things in a more forgiving way. Or, if you felt slighted and want to ask why....maybe there was a lack of awareness or confusion. 

I have often wondered what the statute of limitations on apologies might be. But then I also wonder if there are things that I should apologize for that I don't even know about. Communication is so crucial, and yet so clumsy at times. 

At any rate, I wish there was more time to really connect and communicate with people because I genuinely care about everyone. But I also really value my time alone and I need to protect that as well. So I do energy work and hope that it does reach people. Whenever and however they need it.

I keep my heart open to connections.  And although my door might not be open, my emails are. 

☮💛