"Love is patient and kind"....

December 31st was my 20/18; 20 years before I had "re-met" Bruce, and 18 years before I had married him. I feel very lucky to have him in my life.

Bruce and I met on our college swim team, and I remember the first time I really noticed him. I remember sitting in a circle at pre-season dryland training and we were doing introductions; he was somewhere to my right, and said he was from Madison, Wisconsin. It wasn't that lightening struck me, but he did make an impression. A short time later I was looking forward to seeing him at a swim-team social function...and that is when I found out he was seriously dating another swimmer (and my captain at the time). Oh well, there were many other fish in the sea, and I dated a few of them... There was another time in college the next year when I wasn't sure he was still with his girlfriend that I was asked to go to a thing at his fraternity; I briefly thought perhaps I would be "set-up" with him, but it was with someone else (and was a complete disaster), so again no luck. But other than that, Bruce was a good-looking seemingly nice-guy that I kinda knew, but not very well. And that was fine, because I had plenty to deal with in college....

New Year's Eve 1991: I had recently dyed my hair black and was feeling a bit rebellious (my rebellion is comically tame). I was invited to a party but wasn't all that excited to go; but my friend strongly urged me to attend...emphasizing that Bruce was in town and would be there...and he had broken-up with his girlfriend a couple months before. So I put on a shirt that would emphasize my blue eyes, and nervously went to the party.... and this time there were sparks.

I was living in St. Louis at the time, and Bruce was in Madison. He was still getting-over a long-term relationship, and I was still... me. We tried to take it slow, and the distance helped, but within 8 months I was looking for a job in Madison so I could be closer to him (I succeeded). And crazily enough it was not long after a year that we were engaged (I keep looking back at the dates and am shocked that it was so quick!). Since we "re-met" New Year's Eve, and I am a big-fan of symbolism, we planned a New Year's Eve wedding - December 31, 1993.

A couple years later, Bruce was finishing up his PhD and looking for a job, I was taking classes and trying to figure out what I wanted to do career-wise (other than coach swimming, which I loved), and we somehow decided it was a good time to start a family.... crazy kids that we were. So Bruce got a job at Purdue, and we moved to Indiana when I was 6 months pregnant (we went back up to Madison for his graduation after Lil'Ra was born).

Two kids and 18 years later, we are still married, and that really is a credit to Bruce and his patience and kindness. We did do the Corinthians reading at our wedding, and it really has helped when times got tough; a lot of ups and downs can happen in 18 years. We have been really fortunate in so so many ways.... but we have also worked really hard and I have learned so much about love from him.

It takes more than love to be married, and I suppose there are marriages out there without love (but how sad that seems to me). I am fortunate to be married to a man who has the patience and kindness to deal with my idiosyncrasies and the strength of character to not give-up when things are tough. I have definitely tested that over the years. I am truly thankful to have him in my life, and I do not take that for granted.